Thursday, June 29, 2006

So why did I post the poems?

I do not fancy myself a "poet." Really, I have never, ever, sought to make verses that flow and speak and scan. I wasn't born, like a dear friend of mine (hi, you know who you are), speaking in perfect meter.

But lately there have been pictures in my head that cry out for convience. Images so clear, so very real, that need to be brought forth. And I can't sing. I don't know any notes or chords. My drawings are shaky and inconsistant.

But the song needs to be sung, the music needs be played, the lines need to be traced.

So the poems were written. Or maybe their message intends to write me, so to speak.

"Daughter" came to me one day last September, as I pondered the changes in my garden that were soon to take place, and how I live in it's rythyms and am touched and transformed by it. How it has become very much a personage of great worth to me- living, breathing, and yes, female.

Learning to breath, as I am calling it for now, still reads to my ear as somewhat stilted, and not quite up to the task of showing forth what was in my head when I wrote it. Quite simply, I was struck by the easy give-and-take that exists within the natural order, and by how none of it is based upon worthiness, or trying hard, or all of the numerous grace killers that we humans can put apon our own relationships. Just give/recieve, ebb/flow. And I very much see myself as part of that process, as a creature of nature, my very cells composed of elements that spin around a center like the earth to the sun.

And yet I struggle ever day to rest and accept the love I have been given. And I am one who has been greatly, outrageously, and fully loved. My cognitive aspect knows this, and can name and quantify as to source and evidence and effect. But I am flinching and fighting and struggling because I am too busy questioning whether or not I deserve the many graces given.

And that struggle blocks the very air from my lungs.

So, there they are. Two poems. Not so much offered up because they were in any sense "good," just given because I found it necessary to do so.


Blogger Lone Star Ma said...

I like both of them very much.

5:36 PM  

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