Thoughts while weeding..."She's the wolf who knows which root to dig to save herself, the octopus that crawled back to the sea." (Chorus and the Ring, by REM, but quoted at the beginning of the live version of Country Feedback, Michael Stipe's description of strong southern women). That line always, always pops into my head when I struggle to get the whole root. The air, the earth, the water, my intent, a candle lit next summer in my circlet of green. Calms my soul. Maybe I really am trying to save myself.
posted by brittanicals at
9:10 AM
5 Comments:
You have no idea how disappointed I am that I cannot be out in the yard preparing gardens for the spring.
After neglecting it last year, this was to be my big come-back.
I do know how terribly disappointed you must be, Kona. The looking forward to the gardening is the best part, and to have that ripped away probably hurts more than anything.
I hope you heal quick enough to get to do at least some things. Maybe you will be well enough to finally get yourself some chickens towards the end of the summer?
The spring after my last son was born I remember standing out in the garden with him in the back carrier, crying because I couldn't hardly do anything (he was heavy, and I had three other boys and never put him down, I am sort of overly attached). I ended up taking that time to read gardening books and find inspiration. The year after that was my big come-back.
Hopefully it will be the same for you. Hey, you have the internet! I can even recommend some books and author's to google, like P. Allen Smith, Ann Lovejoy, and most especially, the late Tasha Tudor (ninety year old woman who gardened by hand in the mountains).
Don't mean to down play your disappointment,especially while you have so much pain going on, but maybe a little bit of hope that you will have your comeback!
Thanks Britt! The other thing I need to get through my thick (thankfully, not broken) skull is that life doesn't end at 50. Part of the reason I had such hopes for this year is that I turn 50 on April 22 and I wanted to get my gardening done while I was still in my 40s.
And knowing how hard I was drinking, I wasn't sure I'd be able to do it after this year.
Silly me.
Let this year be a year of inspiration and growth. There is a garden in your heart, and you will spend many years trying to make it real.
As for life ending at 50, my 56 year old husband would disagree with that. He is learning to do new things all the time, and accomplishing things he never dreamed of.
Its a hard road to slow down the drinking, but looking forward to a garden will help immensely.
Take good care.
All of my 50 and 60-something friends would also disagree. :-)
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